A letter From My 2nd Grade Students

When I returned to work this week I was told there was a letter waiting for me in my box and that the students continually asked my boss if she had mailed it to me yet.   This letter is just too cute. I feel loved.

My Papa

Early this morning my Papa passed away.  He was a good family man with a quiet and sharp sense of humor. He wore cowboy boots and loved his Cadillacs.  I loved my Papa. 

A Kindergarden Perspective

Today's conversation on the drive to Chinese school from kindergarden

Setting-Red Van
Time- Approx. 12pm

Florence: Miss T

Me: Yes Florence

Florence: I saw a blue bird this morning.

Michelle: It's blue jay not blue bird. Blue JAY.

Florence: You're not the boss of me....no one is the boss of me...maybe God... but he's dead.

Michelle: If you're good you you fly all the way up to the clouds and stay there. If you are bad... you don't.

Jesse: Who would win Obi Wan or Darth Vader?

Michelle: Darth Vader

A Hiccup

“Would you date someone who is smart but achieved nothing in life?” Last week I came across this question on the online dating site. Immediately my heart sank and I felt embarrassed as though I was recalling a bad childhood memory. The word achievement runs in the same family as the word success in my vocabulary. The past couple of years I have had to redefine my idea of success. With the loss of almost all of my material belongings and at one point the loss of vision, from a broken pair of eyeglasses, life has challenged me to seek the beauty of life beyond material means.

When I was 18 I moved out of my parent’s house adamant that I would never return. I was determined to succeed in life. Unfortunately, work in my field started to become more and more scarce. Although it wasn’t a good career move I took a day job managing a chocolate store in order to pay the bills my contract work couldn’t pay anymore. Soon thereafter the store went under and so did my day job. More than ten years after I left home I found myself asking my parents if I could return. Soon after I moved back home my Aunt and Uncle invited me to move up to northern California and live with them. A little over a year ago I moved up to northern California to seek work but since then I have found much more than that.


When I realized I would be moving, into a bedroom, I began selling my beloved mid century modern furniture including my beautiful working vintage record player and designer shower curtain. I felt as though I was giving away my twenties and a part of who I was as a person. My idea of success resided in my belongings. Living with my Aunt and Uncle has been wonderful. I am so thankful for my Aunt and her ever encouraging words of wisdom. Since my arrival she has confidently pushed me to find that success is not in what I do but who I am.


Who am I? Well, I am a woman who has had a little shake up in life. I have a huge heart and I am keenly aware of the emotional needs of those around me. I am a nice person who is learning to be a good person. I am a late bloomer who is currently finding my voice. I am inspired to find the goodness, truth and beauty in life. I find pleasure in the simple things of life like the humor of a 5 year old, hymns and warm breezes.


My good friend Stephanie has been an inspiration to me. Unknowingly to her, her brutal honesty in humor has helped me let go of many stored up embarrassing moments. The simple cure is sharing the memory out loud to a willing listener. This past year I have let go of a basket full of harbored memories. I have found myself laughing whole heartily at a memory that was once painful. So, like any embarrassing childhood memory there is a cure. Yesterday while with friends I shared my embarrassment on the idea of success. I asked my friends if they thought I was ready to date even though I did not live alone anymore.  They reminded me to not be so hard on myself and that there are people out there that view achievement not only by material means but in relationships with family friends and the community. My quick interpretation of this silly dating site question was merely a hiccup on my journey to happiness and contentment.

Word-Bomb

This week one of the second grade students dropped the F-bomb in my class. As a result he had to write an apology letter to his parents explaining his bad language.  As you will see his first draft was vetoed.




"Dear Mom, I accidentally said fauken to a student. I did it because he always trys to yell at me. I told a teacher at school and she did not care. Justin and I always try to tell that you should. He is sooo meen. I did not meen to say it at him. I said since I got to fushcherated. I don't know how I did it but I could not stand it. I don't think he's that bad. But I just control myself. "

"Dear Mom,
I did not meen to say faukenat a student. I said it because I got fustrated. I don't know why I did it but I just can't stand it. I don't think he's that bad but I just can't control myself.
sincerely Isaac"






I should mention a couple things.  First, he instigated the argument by singing, "David and Audrey sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G....."   Also,  Issac put the slash on the vetoed letter.

Berry Love

Today a couple of the first grade students were writing "love" letters to each other.  One of the letters said, " I love you berry much because your are berry cute."   This is a detail of one of the drawings.

Call Me Card

This morning I came across this old painting. It is a rough draft version of a "call me" card.  The idea was that people can have "call me" cards ready for when they are out and would like to give their number but don't want to to give too much information with their business card. At the time I thought it was funny and possibly marketable to the "cool indie crowd" but I am not so sure anymore.  What do you think?

Wilson Phillips - Hold On

Every once in a while I find myself singing this song. When did I tell myself that this song would be my pep talk song? Seriously?

"Someday somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don't you know?
Don't you know things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day."
-Wilson Phillips

Sunday in Livermore

 In an effort to pull myself away from the very sad current events I have spent most of the day in front of the computer anyways.  However, there were a few accomplishments made today. To my left I have a newly clean file box.  Also, the kitchen and bathroom are both clean. My efforts to put an end to the online dating world have turned on me. Let's just call it research, research. I have now concluded that men in this area are just not interested in a woman who has decided to not show their boobies and or use an excessive amount of smile face icons.  I have started to ask myself, "what if I was completely honest, " what would my profile look like?
  Let's try:

My self summary:  I moved up to the Bay area after a long and disappointing surge of events occurred.

What I am doing with my life:  Glorified babysitting.

I'm really good at:  Pretending everything is alright by keeping quiet.
The first thing that people notice about me:  My chubby cheeks

Favorite books, movies, etc:  Honestly, I enjoy free samples at the grocery store, finding treasures at thrift stores and estate sales. I love painting and the color of almost everything after it's rained.
Favorites: Amelie, Drop dead gorgeous, Wilco, watermelon, French fries, Negra Modelo, Red wine, Potato chips and obsessing over things like my ebay bids, and online dating.
I am horrible at finishing books. I have a bed side of half reads as well as a book shelf full of them.

Six things I could never do without:
1. Inspiration
2. Love
3. Wellbutrin (a new and much accepted addition)
4. Face lotion
5. Ability to poop on a regular basis
6. My subconscious because keeping it contained is better for everyone.

I spend a lot of time thinking about: Death and if there is a God.  Why didn't that guy ever call me / call me back?  Is it really that horrible to ingest alcohol while on Wellbutrin?  Where is that comma supposed to go?

You should message me if:  
1.You can keep your pants on long enough for me to decide whether I enjoy your company or not.
2. You can follow through with your responsibilities.
3. You can communicate.
4. You think you can make me laugh.
5. You want to love life and make conscious daily decisions to learn.

Okay so it's not too much different.

Who wants tacos?

This one is for Juliana. Sorry the actual music video can't be copied. Sad face.

Mariah Carey - Fantasy

This one is for EBet.

Fresh Face

So... it has been a few months since I have posted a picture of my face. As you can see I still have round cheeks but no more sickly rash or obsurd swelling.

( It might be a good idea to clean my glasses though.)

Dancing Unders

I know I should not have encouraged this behavior by documenting it. It's just too good. Today, Eric decided to make underwear with scratch paper. The other boys followed immediately. Eric is the same guy who drew me a jar of poops on his homework and asked me to count how many poops there were in the jar for a prize. Yes, I talked with his parents, but only cause I had to. Such a creative guy.

PS. I passed the CBEST!!!!

Bear Grylls & Will Ferrell

Hilarious!

Morocco in May

Good news!!!!!! I am going to Morocco in May for my 30th bday!

(photo taken from mydeco.com http://blog.us.mydeco.com/modern-morocco-a-study-in-patterns/#more-12027)

Sigmoid

This past Wednesday my mom had her sigmoid removed. Although she is now missing part of her organ she is now almost cancer free. With a bit of chemo her stage 2 cancer should disappear and voila! all gone. Fingers crossed, prayers intact and happy thoughts sent towards my momma.

My current most favoritist song

Queen - 'Somebody To Love'

Texas

This year I spent New Years Eve in Dallas and New Years day in the air. That is when I was not in Dallas, Austin or Phoenix finding a way home. Somewhere between Austin and Phoenix panic occur ed. My stomach started aching and my blood sped up a bit. Why? Why was it such a big deal if I had to spend the evening at the airport? My mind had wandered into a valley of shadows(drama). Was this some sort of foreshadowing of this coming year? Do I still believe in such things? Do I believe my fate had been chosen for me or that life is what I make of it? So, I decided that this year (or at least yesterday) was not decided by an ever looming presence of deary fate. I decided that I would decide my present and it was all about perspective. While in Austin, staring at "keep Austin weird," t-shirts I decided that if it was fate that fate was merely pushing me to take adventures and enjoy the weird and unstructured day I was in. So, I began talking to those seated around me on my flights and I was lucky to meet some very interesting people and a storyteller.
Today I am now home and am playing around with new blog layouts. While trying to upload photos, as a background, I came across a handful of dangerous photos. Most filled of sentiment and yes, I looked through most of them. I found photos of beautiful art work that I once created. Photos from houses and apartments in various zip codes. There were also images from a time when I was in love and I remember the joy I felt during that time. Today I feel hopeful remembering that I am capable of love and creativity.